I am truly blessed. I have so many wonderful people in my life. So much positivity and love. It gives me strength and stamina. I could not have made this journey so far without all of you. Yes, even YOU have made a difference.
I look at the stats of my blog now and then. I have had over 6000 views. Wow! That is amazing to me. I feel like that is the equivalent to 6000 "I love you!"s or 6000 "I am here for you!"s. It brightens my day and I feel the positive energy it conveys.
Thank you for taking the time to read my posts. It means more to me than you know.
Saturday, 4 October 2014
Back to Normal
I recently had my nails done. I have been sporting bio-gel nails and their predecessors- fibreglass and acrylic- for over 15 years. My own nails are very soft and they tear easily. Because of my cancer treatment and the need for me to have the oxygen monitor on my finger tip when I visited the hospital, I could not have bio-gel nails for over almost a year.
After my stem cell transplant, my own nails were very healthy and grew very fast. They looked fantastic. Of course that didn't last. They started to tear across the top again and I ended up with very sore finger tips! :( So...I went to the nail salon and had them enhanced. :)
When they were done, I felt misty-eyed and a little overwhelmed with emotion. It was not having nice nails that did it...I am not that shallow...it was that I was getting back to the "old me". My body is still holding onto the extra weight I put on during my induction chemo phase, and my hair is entirely different with this short, curly, dark "do". My nails were an indication that I was getting back to "normal".
I did not realize how much it bothered me that I was different until I started to get back to normal. I look back at pictures of my round steroid-bloated face and am so relieved now that it is back to normal. I see pictures of my bald head, and at the time I loved it and I still miss the ease of up-keep, but I see myself differently now. I can't wait for this curly mop to grow out so that I can style it.
I want to look in the mirror and see ME. It has been a long time since I have. Cancer takes so much of us...and so much more than we expect.
After my stem cell transplant, my own nails were very healthy and grew very fast. They looked fantastic. Of course that didn't last. They started to tear across the top again and I ended up with very sore finger tips! :( So...I went to the nail salon and had them enhanced. :)
When they were done, I felt misty-eyed and a little overwhelmed with emotion. It was not having nice nails that did it...I am not that shallow...it was that I was getting back to the "old me". My body is still holding onto the extra weight I put on during my induction chemo phase, and my hair is entirely different with this short, curly, dark "do". My nails were an indication that I was getting back to "normal".
I did not realize how much it bothered me that I was different until I started to get back to normal. I look back at pictures of my round steroid-bloated face and am so relieved now that it is back to normal. I see pictures of my bald head, and at the time I loved it and I still miss the ease of up-keep, but I see myself differently now. I can't wait for this curly mop to grow out so that I can style it.
I want to look in the mirror and see ME. It has been a long time since I have. Cancer takes so much of us...and so much more than we expect.
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