It has been a while...

Did you wonder where I had gone?

The truth of the matter is that I had a couple tough weeks. Usually on my non-steroid days I am foggy and lethargic...but the last week I have been down for the count. This past weekend I slept most of Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Day and night.

Today is my first day on steroids again, so it is a more productive day for me. I thought I should write something.

One of the things that has me a little down this past few weeks is news of Lisa Ray's return to treatment. You may recall from an earlier post that Lisa is a Canadian-Indian actress who was diagnosed with multiple myeloma when she was 37 years old. She chronicled her journey in the Yellow Diaries blog and I saw her as a beacon of sorts for how I hoped my journey would progress. She had the same type of induction chemo therapy as I am having now,  and then she had a stem cell transplant. She achieved a "complete response" which means full remission. This is rare...2-3 % chance. She spoke about hoping for a long remission and that she might be one of those MM survivors that take a 20 year ride. I was rooting for her.

I found out recently that she went back into treatment last January and now is taking part in some clinical trials. Her remission only lasted for 2 years. I found myself feeling a little hopeless for a moment. I thought she was the good luck story that would sustain my hope and her relapse felt like mine. I was very sad.

Anyway, I worried about it and worried about my own situation for a few days, and got a little down in the dumps...but I am okay now. I realize that nothing in my situation has changed. I still have the same chance of complete response and long remission that I did before. There is no typical path that one follows during this MM journey. My path is not yet known and I am just as likely to be on the 20 year plan than anyone else! :)

I know that I will have ups and downs during this ordeal. I haven't had too many down times, so I am allowed.

I am on the upswing again and things are looking pretty rosy. :)