What's up, buttercup?

As the date for my stem cell transplant gets closer I am starting to feel a need for nesting. 

I am the one who looks after the finances and the running of the household, so I am trying to put it all down on paper for Al to take it over during my upcoming time of incapacity. For the most part it will look after itself...since I have scheduled payments and auto-payments already set up for most everything, but just in case there is a glitch, he needs to know what needs to be paid and when.

My first Disability payment finally showed up in our account, but it was for an incomplete month, so I don't yet know how much "net" it will be each month. I was relieved to see that my calculations for income tax deduction for last year's disability period was pretty close so I don't owe a lot. :)

Aside from the financials, I am slowly working my way through all the closets and drawers to tidy up and declutter. If things are orderly then it will be easier for people to find things when needed. The last thing I need is to trying to figure out where I stashed the summer sandals in the sea of Rubbermaid bins in my basement while I lie in a hospital an hour away. :) The joke in our house has always been that I am "the only one who can find an f'ing thing". I need to pass the torch.

So I am busy making my lists, labelling boxes and bins, and spring cleaning. I am actually enjoying it -- if only I was feeling up to working on it every day. The one day on steroids as opposed to four is great in some ways, but not in others.

For one, the steroids kept all my aches and pains at bay. Now that I am on one day a week, all those pains are coming back. The arthritis in my neck, lower back, feet, and fingers is back. The inflammation of my right elbow is back.  I am having headaches again. And then there is the EYE. My left eye is swollen and red. It is part of the dry eye issue, but during the 2 days that I feel the effects of the steroids, my eye pretty much clears up, only to return as the steroids wear off. It is really annoying!! Not to mention that I look like a freak show!! :) My husband deserves a medal...he sure didn't sign up for this!

Also, the 25 pounds that I put on during the high dose steroid treatment is not going away. In fact, I weighed myself this morning and have broken another record. Now it might have something to do with the yummy butter tarts I bought the other day at Harvest Barn. I have eaten 4 of the 6 in 2 days...but hey...there are few pleasures in my life right now. :)

Four days of steroids meant a good 3 or 4 days of energy and coherent thinking. Now I get one and a half. (Fridays and Saturdays.) The crash is much the same -- Sunday, Monday and sometimes Tuesday. Wednesdays I feel realtively normal, only to have the cycle begin again on Thursday.

All in all, this article is full of bitching and whining, but I have not lost sight of the fact that I am very fortunate. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be battling cancer while looking after others. I do not know how a mother of young children - or even teenagers for that matter -- could do it.

If you know someone who has a young family and one of the parents or a child is ill, please help them. Do their grocery shopping, or clean their house, or do their laundry for them, or drop by with a pre-made dinner. Don't wait for them to ask you (because they won't), just tell them you are doing it.

I am so fortunate to have the day to myself and to casually go about the household chores that need to be done. I have the luxury of resting whenever, and for as long as I need to, or want to. It is also really easy to convince Al to go out for dinner, or order in, if I did not feel like making anything for dinner. This could be so much harder than it is. :) For that, I am blessed.